Pattern Languages, part 8: Conversation

John Kellden
5 min readApr 11, 2018

“In a network: while you see a chance ...”
@johnkellden

It used to seem to us,
our lives went by too fast

Engaging in a conversation is such a common pattern we often overlook its importance and treat it as a given. It is not at all a “natural” thing to do even in a f2f context and in a digital environment it remains only partially the same, while acquiring whole new dimensions.

one example of a dynamic pattern:

“Engaging in a Conversation”

This is such a common dynamic pattern and so essential to human interaction that we often forget that we are almost always immersed in dialogue when taking thought.

This oblivion creates unique challenges when extending our conversations, online, even more so when engaging inside social media and proprietary platforms, which are almost never designed with our interaction in mind, but rather are designed to turn our collective clicking behavior into revenue for the owners.

we had to talk thinks slowly
just to make the good parts last

In a network, in a trusted place, whether f2f or digital, a conversation is a set of complex responsive processes that forms convivial cybernetics around lines of inquiry, weaving between me and we, between mindfulness and constructive, effective action.

in an overwhelm of content
it’s so hard to just converse

“Here, said she,
Our cards: the drowned Syrian Migrant,
(Those are pearls that were his Young Eyes. Look!)
Here is Bella Donna, the Lady of the Inshore Account,
The lady of squandered Situational Awareness.
Here is the Mad Man with Three Wands, just As Advertised,
and here, the Wheel of Governance,
And here is the one-eyed Data Merchant on a cushion, and this card,
Which is a User Generated Blank, is something we All Carry on our backs,
Which our Thoughts Turned Data we were forbidden to see. I do not find
The Neo Liberal. Fear death by Water of Life.”

@johnkellden, riffing on The Waste Land

would we be surprised to see ourselves back,
breathing new life into our parts of town?

You can’t breathe new life into things, until you have turned your own thoughts, about yourself and others, generative.

back in the practicality in complexity again

Enter the liminal fray
The problem is, you believe you can have it both ways. You can’t. You can’t revitalize the world, until you have at least begun to revitalize yourself. You can’t enter the liminal fray at the beach, inside a dialogue with nature and experience the joy of letting the waves embrace you, and still remain at a safe distance.

the doors we thought were closed, will open up again

Portals enfolding a newfound flow
Out of an intentional folding, tangling, enfolding untangling and unfolding of process and structure, structure and process: flow.

back in the practicality in complexity again

In reality, which is what you need to move closer to, the ambiguity of the situation and the disorientation in your mind, are two welcome signs.
You are welcome.

faces used to watch ourselves,
turned smiles and welcome in

No matter how seeming small, still a shining star
Yes. Your suffering will now recede and reveal a deeper pain. A good, transformative pain, a pain in perfect accordance to how well you managed to belittle your own unique constellations in your inner sky.

we used to be so good pretending who we were
and what life we thought to be

A new dawn
In order to traverse our inner constellations, we need new eyes. At night, out there in the desert, the sky is more clear, the stars are closer and the constellations, the new conversations, tracing our new configurations, are awaiting our naming them, that they might guide us home. Back at home, in the café, among friends, noticing a new dawn in your desert gaze.

our hope is we’re still out there
and you’re like you used to be to me

A conversation by any other name…
A set of complex responsive processes always and already occur inbetween, when participants in a debate, discussion, conversation and metalogue no longer hold rigidly to their old rituals and status, their old structures and constellations beginning a movement to a place where a newfound mutuality and learning will come alive, adding generative closure to their joint transition.

we’ll find ourselves a time

Metalogue: a meaning-making-moving-with
The unforgiving aloneness, the sharp pebble on which you stub your turntaking, on which opinion you stumble in your conversational performance, where your dance turn a muddling through, all there to help you emulate, embrace and embody a more evolved metalogue meaning-making-moving-with, letting go of some of your precaution.

we’ll dance till the morning sun

Pain turned pearl
How you move when at the waters edge, will shift and change for the better and your feet will awaken to the feel of the rounded pebbles as you meet the waves. One of the seemingly unassuming pebbles, through pain turned pearl, a newfound place inside from where you share with a few select others.

we’ll embrace the good waves coming in

“It is a profoundly erroneous truism that we should cultivate the habit of thinking of what we are doing. The precise opposite is the case. Civilization advances by extending the number of important operations which we can perform without thinking about them.”
Alfred North Whitehead

we won’t stop till we’re done

Waves of life flowing through you
The immense gift from nature, should you return to her, is the experience of your opinion turning insight, a unique insight that *is* part, parcel and parsing of your rediscovering a playfulness disposition, immersing yourself together with others, enabling your work in expressing your self, into play, into participatory inquiry.

and, we will find ourselves back
in the practicality in complexity again

Ready and able
A conversation can take place between any two agents. In this text, a turntaking between me outlining a scene, and another me, riffing on Steve Winwood, Back In The High Life Again. Always and already an invitation, finding ourselves back in the practicality in complexity again. In other texts, where the network finds you ready and able to get back in the high life again.

Paul Dufour

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John Kellden

Cards catalyzing stories, Conversations that mind and matter, Digital communities and collaborative narratives